A wedding ring. Filled with sentiments, thoughts, symbols, validation, acknowledgement, intention, determined.
It is less than an inch in size. Fits that second finger on the left hand. It represents a lifetime of love. In a nutshell. But it is of a time that has passed. It has now been transformed into a widow’s ring. A symbol of the reshaping of one’s life. Unexpected. Sometimes. Other times. There is a forewarning. One you do not wish upon anyone. And it stays there. Until the end.
And then, a little more than a week after they have passed. Only days after they have been ‘put to rest’ you look, and see one of the stones is missing. It is lost. Like your love. Forever. No, they are not lost. They are still beside you. But instead of being physically present they are in the ‘here after’ at your side. You feel them. But you don’t feel them – any more.
Such a sadness overtakes you after the numb phase has passed. Ahhh yes. In a split second, you think “That would be a great photo to send quick” to your husband. You have been spending a couple of hours with the grandson. “Oh wait. They aren’t there anymore to receive the photos.” The conversation only heard in your heart.
However, today, I received a call that the project I decided to do – before I noticed the stone was missing – is ready. It wasn’t a subtle inclination. It was a compelling and strong need. I wanted his ring meshed with mine. Made into one. Just like us. Two individuals living our lives fully – and yet committed as a dedicated couple.
This was now – The widows ring.
I am nervous. Will it be what I hope for?
I arrive. It had been an undeniably strong instinct that I had to do this. It had only been two weeks since he had passed. But I knew – I had to wear his wedding ring. It was a symbol of our time that existed. It was a symbol of work, love, struggle, wisdom, happiness, and yes, memories. And the loss of the little stone on my wedding ring just was the exclamation point to the end of my sentence. I need to put these together.
I had never heard of a widow’s ring before. But after doing some searching I found a few examples. I didn’t want a necklace. I wanted to remind myself that my heart was not going anywhere. It was staying right here. This was a part of my life, and I wanted to celebrate that it was different, but it was still very real. Our love was a gift. And a gift that would continue for my life time. In a different way. Valid. Intentional. Acknowledged.
Living fully – carving a life,